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Shoe Company Continues ‘War On America’

Pair of New ShoesPair of New Shoes

A local shoe company’s decision to rebrand a line of shoes has been met with outcry by critics who say the rebrand is a ‘war on America’. In a quiet part of downtown Oklahoma City, popular shoe company, MoonDeer*, is shaking up the fashion industry by rebranding a line of shoes that used to feature a star logo, to be more plain, and no longer feature a star. When asked for comment on why they chose to change the shoe’s design, the company responded with the following statement:

“MoonDeer* has used the star symbol for a long time, and we decided this year that a minimalistic look was more in line with designs being featured in modern day apparel and art. Also, it saved us a little on ink to have to print that extra star on there. We figured no one would miss something like a little star on a shoe.”

Shame on you MoonDeer*. We all know you are a bunch of American-hating nazi’s that just want to trick us all into supporting your twisted ‘War on America’ schemes.

In an effort to get both sides of the story, we reached out to one of the outspoken critics of MoonDeer’s* new design choice, Edwin Ralphsmuch*, to see what he thought of the statement from MoonDeer*.

“I think it’s outrageous. I mean, really, do they think we are that stupid. Obviously, if you take a star, an OBVIOUS emblem of America, and remove it from your product, we are going to catch on, and we are going to stop spending our money at your stores. I don’t know what kind of pagan, neo-nazi plot you have cooking, but frankly, I will not allow my hard-earned money to fund it. This is War on America!”

We also asked Edwin* to give us some information about why a star is so emblematic of America, and this was his response:

“I mean, duh, stars have always been super important to America. There are stars on our flag, and stars in our theme song, and we even commemorate our famous people by putting their names in stars in Hollywood. It’s like, we couldn’t even be a nation without stars. I’m pretty sure Columbus even used stars to navigate to America, since they didn’t have GPS back then.”

Obviously, we wouldn’t make for very good reporters if we didn’t also capture some of the feelings of the other side of this argument. We stood outside a MoonDeer* store and asked some of the people leaving how they could live with shopping someplace that is so un-American, and here are some responses:

“Un-American? What? I just needed some new shoes. I feel like if I didn’t have shoes, I would be more un-American.” – Karly*

“uhhh, no speak English? Yeah… No English.” – Foreigner who didn’t speak English

“Qué? Lo siento, yo no hablo inglés.” – Person who obviously spoke english and just wanted to avoid us.

“I think people are blowing this way out of proportion. It’s obvious that the design choice was because they thought the new design looked better, not because they hate America or want to wage ‘War on America’. Besides, stars have little, if anything, to do with America. Aren’t you wearing MoonDeers* right now?” Judeth* (we totally aren’t wearing MoonDeers*)

What do you think about the MoonDeer* debate? Do you think they need to put the star back on, or is it fine without it? Let us know in the comments.

* Name changed for anonymity

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