After the least destructive hail storm ever seen, Karl Scrantly* finally allowed a roofer to make a bid to repair it. Karl* was told that the roofers would be there within 24 hours, and after 27 hours of waiting Karl* had waited long enough. Picking up his trusty woodsman’s axe, he headed to a local bar where he knew the roofers enjoyed drinking and wasting time. Upon entering the bar, he immediately identified two of the men who were supposedly going to replace his roof. “You bunch of scumbags!” Karl* yelled at the top of his lungs. “I’m going to END YOU!” Karl* began running towards the roofers who panicked and took off running. Karl* began to furiously destroy the table they were sitting at while this was all being captured on a closed circuit camera system that Karl* was unaware of. After chasing the men into the alley, Karl* was understandably winded, and stopped to take a momentary break. Taking this opportunity, the roofers charged Karl* in an attempt to disarm him.
What happened next is purely speculation, as the police are still piecing together the scene (and the roofers). It is speculated that the roofers tripped and landed on Karl’s* axe immediately exploding into a large number of small pieces. Karl* is taking the stance of self defense, as the assailants were running towards him at the time of the incident. “They were obviously dangerous, since they were members of an ethnic minority.” Karl* said as he was taken to the hospital to be examined for any injuries.
* Name changed for anonymity