Judge Rules Dogs Have Same Rights As Humans

Spot* in front of his American flag.Spot* in front of his American flag.

A 14th circuit judge in Maryland has ruled today that dogs have the same rights as humans. This ruling (Spot* Vs. The State of Maryland) came about when Maryland resident “Spot”* (a golden retriever) was signed up to join his local soccer team. Spot’s* human companion Anthony* was outraged when the rest of his team was unwilling to accept Spot* on the team. “I couldn’t believe the level of intolerance that my team had towards Spot*. I was furious. I called my attorney right away, and he was certain we had a case.” After a few weeks of back and forth with the head coach in an attempt to resolve this peacefully, the case was brought to court. At first the jury couldn’t believe the plaintiff was a dog, but quickly realized the severity of the charges being brought.

The case stretched on for about a year, slowed by the fact that the plaintiff was unable to testify on his own behalf. Several famous dog coaches and trainers were brought in to testify that Spot* was more than capable of handling the responsibilities of a human. “He’s better able to take care of himself than most humans under 30. He comes when called, can open doors, and protects his household better than most Americans. He also doesn’t require a weapon to do so.” said Mr. Richard Grayson*, a local dog trainer. With the end in sight, the judge was forced to rule that Spot* was legally able to care for himself and therefore has a right to be included in the local soccer team if he so desires. Thus, Spot*┬ánow has the same rights as humans.

The soccer coach has argued that if Spot* is ‘owned’ by Anthony* then he is legally trafficking, which in turn has generated controversy and a second court case in which Spot* is suing to be released from ‘ownership’ by Anthony*.

* Name changed for anonymity

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