/* Plugin Name: WordPress Notification Bar Plugin URI: http://seedprod.com/wordpress-notification-bar/ Description: Global Notification Bar for WordPress Version: 1.3.9 Text Domain: wordpress-notification-bar Domain Path: /languages Author: SeedProd Author URI: http://www.seedprod.com License: GPLv2 Copyright 2012 John Turner (email : john@seedprod.com, twitter : @johnturner) */ /** * Init * * @package WordPress * @subpackage seed_wnb * @since 0.1.0 */ /** * Default Constants */ define( 'SEED_WNB_SHORTNAME', 'seed_wnb' ); // Used to reference namespace functions. define( 'SEED_WNB_FILE', 'wordpress-notification-bar/wordpress-notification-bar.php' ); // Used for settings link. define( 'SEED_WNB_TEXTDOMAIN', 'wordpress-notification-bar' ); // Your textdomain define( 'SEED_WNB_PLUGIN_NAME', __( 'WordPress Notification Bar', 'seed_wnb' ) ); // Plugin Name shows up on the admin settings screen. define( 'SEED_WNB_VERSION', '1.3.9' ); // Plugin Version Number. Recommend you use Semantic Versioning http://semver.org/ define( 'SEED_WNB_REQUIRED_WP_VERSION', '3.0' ); // Required Version of WordPress define( 'SEED_WNB_PLUGIN_PATH', plugin_dir_path( __FILE__ ) ); // Example output: /Applications/MAMP/htdocs/wordpress/wp-content/plugins/seed_wnb/ define( 'SEED_WNB_PLUGIN_URL', plugin_dir_url( __FILE__ ) ); // Example output: http://localhost:8888/wordpress/wp-content/plugins/seed_wnb/ /** * Upon activation of the plugin, see if we are running the required version and deploy theme in defined. * * @since 0.1.0 */ function seed_wnb_activation( ) { if ( version_compare( get_bloginfo( 'version' ), SEED_WNB_REQUIRED_WP_VERSION, '<' ) ) { deactivate_plugins( __FILE__ ); wp_die( sprintf( __( "WordPress %s and higher required. The plugin has now disabled itself. On a side note why are you running an old version :( Upgrade!", 'seed_wnb' ), SEED_WNB_REQUIRED_WP_VERSION ) ); } } register_activation_hook( __FILE__, 'seed_wnb_activation' ); /** * Load Required Files */ require_once( 'framework/framework.php' ); require_once( 'inc/config.php' ); require_once( 'inc/class-plugin.php' ); //var_dump( $seed_wnb->get_options() ); /** * Load Translation */ function seed_wnb_load_textdomain() { load_plugin_textdomain( 'wordpress-notification-bar', false, dirname( plugin_basename( __FILE__ ) ) . '/languages/' ); } add_action('plugins_loaded', 'seed_wnb_load_textdomain'); Doctors Irate Over Man's Ability To Lose 35 lbs. In 2 Hours - iTag: Live

Doctors Irate Over Man’s Ability To Lose 35 lbs. In 2 Hours

Weight can be a problem if you use this scale.Weight can be a problem if you use this scale.

Josh McGroban* (no relation to the singer) used to be a regular man. Now he’s a celebrity because of his radical new method of losing weight. However the league of doctors is wildly upset by it, and caution people against it, saying it’s “too dangerous” and “unhealthy”. But let’s be honest, isn’t every new weight fad dangerous until we understand it? We discussed this new strategy with Josh* at his home in Seattle.

“It all started when my wife was complaining that I needed to lose a few pounds.” says Josh*. “I just looked at her, and told her she needed to lose a few pounds first, and we argued and I figured that was the end of it. It turns out, I really hurt her feelings though, because within a week, through a rigorous exercise program, she had lost 10 pounds! I was furious. I couldn’t be beat by my wife at anything, so I set out to find the fastest way to lose more weight than her. I was looking at everything from starvation to tapeworms to some weird herbal remedy called ‘cocaine’. They all seemed like pretty big risks (or way too expensive) for not a lot of weight loss. Finally, I stumbled on a new idea, buried deep in a reddit post about surgeries. The user was telling about how he got some disease called ‘gout’ that forced the doctors to cut his leg off. It was then that I knew what I had to do.”

After searching craigslist and reddit, and a few sites that we won’t mention here because we’re not sure they’re legal, he finally found an individual with ‘gout’ that was willing to give him a blood transfusion in his leg. They had to travel to Guatemala in order to find a doctor who would perform the transfusion, but within a week, Josh* had successfully contracted ‘gout’. “At first it wasn’t that bad, I knew I only needed to last long enough to get rid of the leg, but after a few weeks and my wife CONSTANTLY complaining about how I was gonna die, and how it was ‘cheating’, it was pretty awful. Finally the day came that I couldn’t move my leg anymore, so I hobbled on down to the hospital and within 2 short hours, I was one leg and 35 lbs. lighter!” Josh tells us. When asked what he would do differently if he did it again, he had this to say: “Liposuction. Probably look at liposuction first. It’s WAY more expensive, but you can’t get those weeks of searching for a blood donor back. Surprisingly, those people keep their ‘gout’ pretty well a secret. Greedy bunch of losers…”

What do you think about Josh’s* method of weight loss? Have you or a loved one tried something similar? Leave us a comment to tell us about it below.

Unless you are bleeding profusely, then please call 911 first.

* Name changed for anonymity

34 Comments on "Doctors Irate Over Man’s Ability To Lose 35 lbs. In 2 Hours"

  1. 792083 543229Why didnt I think about this? I hear exactly what youre saying and Im so happy that I came across your blog. You truly know what youre talking about, and you made me feel like I ought to learn much more about this. Thanks for this; Im officially a huge fan of your blog 73643

  2. 422342 946500Thanks for the great post against your blog, it genuinely provides me with a look about this topic.??;~.?? 420853

  3. 284739 124077I gotta favorite this web site it seems really beneficial . 554412

  4. 748521 35042An intriguing discussion is worth comment. Im confident which you basically write regarding this subject, could possibly not be considered a taboo topic but typically persons are too small to communicate on such topics. To one more. Cheers 191350

  5. 327951 54978I discovered your weblog internet site on google and check just some of your early posts. Proceed to sustain up the exceptional operate. I just extra up your RSS feed to my MSN Data Reader. Seeking forward to reading far more from you in a even though! 182661

  6. Many thanks really valuable. Will certainly share website with my good friends

  7. Thanks pertaining to offering such substantial write-up

  8. Thanks with regard to giving these types of very good subject material

  9. 347359 107Cool text dude, maintain up the very good function, just shared this with the mates 736657

  10. Maintain the excellent job and generating the group!

  11. You’re an extremely beneficial web site; couldn’t make it without ya!

  12. Good day, cool web page you have here

  13. Undoubtedly, the internet is among the most preferred market places where sellers and buyers meet.
    Once you do that take a spray bottle filled with 4 cups of
    warm water and a tablespoon of detergent and spray the stain. 00 per gallon, depending on market
    prices, but that is a good benchmark.

  14. Good site you possess going here

  15. You have among the best web sites

  16. Thanks for sharing this superb web site.|

  17. The remote control includes 3 different frequencies, and you can operate the car from up to 8 meters.
    Now you will soon forget about key-fobs as well since new biometric revolution is going to allow you to enter
    your car with your fingerprint, face detection or eyeball recognition. It includes 4
    different frequencies so you can race against your friends.

  18. Whoa….this is a invaluable web page.|

  19. Hmm іs аnyone else experiencing problеms with the images on thіs blog
    loading? I’m tгying to determine іf its a ρroblem on my end or if it’ѕ
    the blog. Any responses wߋuld be ɡreatly appreciated.

  20. I value the information on your website. Thnx.|

  21. 219902 332113This website is truly a walk-through for all of the info you wanted about it and didnt know who to question. Glimpse here, and youll definitely discover it. 232940

  22. Fantastic Web site, Keep up the useful job. Thanks a lot.|

  23. Great product, fullfilled my Vera fix! Quick shipping too!

  24. You’re a very valuable web site; couldn’t make it without ya!|

  25. 880372 507404This kind of publish appears to get yourself a lot of visitors. How will you acquire traffic to that? It provides a great unique twist upon issues. I guess having something traditional or perhaps substantial to give info on is the central aspect. 304441

  26. 820504 347599Sewing Machines […]any time to read or go to the content or perhaps internet sites we certainly have associated with[…] 910431

  27. 769407 287690I discovered your blog site internet site on the internet and appearance some of your early posts. Continue to keep in the great operate. I just now additional increase your Rss to my MSN News Reader. Seeking toward reading far more from you finding out at a later date! 711327

  28. 892410 170746The planet are really secret by having temperate garden which are generally beautiful, rrncluding a jungle that is definitely definitely profligate featuring so numerous systems by way of example the game courses, golf procedure and in addition private pools. Hotel reviews 180020

  29. 314954 335706I wish I had a dime for every bad post Ive read lately. I also wish other writers had your talent and style. Thank you. 539380

  30. 394581 711162Some really superb info , Sword lily I found this. 131171

  31. 974584 692343Hiya. Extremely cool website!! Man .. Beautiful .. Fantastic .. I will bookmark your web website and take the feeds additionallyI am happy to discover numerous helpful info here within the post. Thank you for sharing 927109

  32. 529774 382566I adore your wp style, wherever did you download it by way of? 712238

  33. 734381 673437Hey! Excellent post! Please do tell us when we can see a follow up! 597075

Comments are closed.