A Massachusetts boy has been asked to leave his school for a bizarre reason says his father, Edward Rufkins*, and he isn’t having any of it. Jonah Rufkins* is a normal 3rd-grade boy at what appears to be a normal public school in the suburbs of Massachusetts. However, one thing is different about Jonah*: He’s allergic to wifi. You read that right, little Jonah* gets headaches when he is at school because of how dangerously close he is to one of society’s newest health threat. After several weeks of the boy sneaking out of class and hiding in a closet with his
gameboy schoolwork, the school reached out to his father, Edward*, to ask him to take his son out of their school. They cited “health-related reasons”, because they have all the necessary medical equipment to diagnose wifi-intolerance-disorder. They also cited a recent death that proves that wifi intolerance is a real thing. Jonah’s* father refused, and here is what he had to say about it:
“I think it’s outrageous. I mean, they think they have the right to just ask my child to leave school? If my son was actually intolerant to wifi, as a good parent, I would have taken him out of there a long time ago! Obviously no responsible parent would continue making their child go somewhere that is hurting them. Jonah* is going to stay in school, man-up, and get a good education. He’s going to go on to do big things! I’m already starting the entrance prep material for all the Ivy-League schools for him. No public school principle is going to ruin the plans I have in place.”
over the course of the following weeks, Jonah* was sent to the ER twice because of seizures from
spending too much time playing video games wifi-related devices. Edward* is now suing the school, saying that if the wifi is actually hurting his son, why haven’t they shut down all their wifi-related devices in order to keep him safe.
“It’s an outrage. If wifi is what is doing this, why are they still using it!? You can’t just say that someone is being harmed by something and then not do something about it.” Edward* told us. He refused to answer any more questions though when we asked why he had not taken Jonah* out of that school to keep him safe.
We checked back in with Jonah* and Edward* a few weeks later, and all is about the same as we left it. Jonah* is having increasing headaches and has gotten an honorary desk in the janitor’s closet where he
plays games does schoolwork when the wifi radiation gets too bad. Edward has requested that the school use lead-based paint to repaint the closet, in order to keep out all the radiation (because that’s how that works). The school has so far declined all of his requests.
* Name changed for anonymity