Will Fate of Earth Be the Same As Mars?

Aurora BorealisAurora Borealis

What will be the fate of Earth? No one can really say for sure, though NASA’s recent findings regarding the former atmosphere of the Red Planet (Mars) leaves some people worried. Dr. Robert Carson* has studied the universe for most of his life, and he claims we may only have a few short decades left before Earth’s atmosphere is in the same state as Mars. As NASA’s study found, Mars’ atmosphere was stripped away by a veritable “sand blasting” of electrons from the sun. Over time, this eroded the atmosphere of Mars until it was all but non-existent.

“With Earth being so much closer to the sun, we are taking a lot more of a beating.” explains Dr. Carson*. “Luckily Earth has a far thicker atmosphere, so we’ve been able to hold out until now. The problem is, we are starting to run out of time. Everyone knows the ozone layer is depleting, and I believe this is a direct result of the sun’s electrons eating away at our ‘ozone forcefield'”.

Judging by Dr. Carson’s* testimony, it appears that the fate of Earth may be headed the wrong way. So what are we doing to stop this from happening? The answer might surprise you.

“We call it ‘Project Safety Net’.” says Anderson Lemuel*, an engineer working closely on the project. “What we’re trying to do is create a new force field out of a different kind of energy. We’ve chosen methane as our gas of choice because it is so readily available. While it does have a rather pungent odor, it makes for an excellent ozone-replacement. One step we are taking is to seed the sky with methane through the use of methane displacement in aircraft engines.” That’s right, those vapor trails you see in the sky are actually plane flatulence. But is it working? We asked Anderson* and here’s what he said: “Yes and no. While we are doing a good job of filling the sky with methane, we are running into problems we hadn’t expected, like lack of rainbows in areas that are heavily saturated in methane. We’re also realized last week that methane is incredibly flammable, which worries us, but has yet to prove a problem.”

What do you think? Is methane the answer, or just another gas we’ll have to worry about down the road?

* Name changed for anonymity

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